Things I'm Doing That Aren't Facebook

Things I'm doing

1. Reading

I've read Episode I and started on Episode II in the Shades of Orthea series. This is the first installment by my friend and author Hannah Gordon. The book is fantasy-based, and a little graphic at times, but also enticing. You can check out more information about the author and buy the books here.

2. Sleeping

Most nights I go to bed around midnight (or if i happen to get to bed early that night, i wake up around 2 or 3) and take my two preschoolers to the bathroom to help them stay dry (they aren't yet waking up all on their own to go) until morning. When I come back to bed, I check Facebook for close to an hour - sometimes longer. First I check my notifications, of course, and reply to any interesting comments and statuses or posts in my groups; then i scroll up and down and up and down my news feed, gobbling up glossy images and witty memes and provocative infographics and interesting blog posts until my forearms ache too much. Then I finally put the phone down and sleep.

Well, since I can't do that during my hiatus, I don't even pick my phone up. I just go back to bed and straight to sleep.

3. Having Sex

This morning my husband and I "Did The Deed", as they say, and it was very enjoyable. Perhaps if I had still been a Facebook junkie I might not have been so willing.  I'm curious, actually, as to how many times I imply I'm too tired for sex but still continue to scroll along through my News Feed. What kind of impact will the absence of Facebook have on my sex life over time? I'll let you know.

Sex isn't the only way I've been connecting with my husband - he told me on Wednesday that he's noticed I'm not on my phone all the time when I'm around him. I hear what he is saying and respond, and the delay between exchanges is shorter than usual, as I am not tearing my eyes away from my smart phone screen to focus on him and his verbage.

I almost feel guilty for the hours of waiting he must have experienced over time, because I have been wrapped up in theFacebook.

4. Connecting with Friends

Wednesday night I went Glow Bowling on Ladies Night at my local Andy B's Bowling Alley with some fellow mom friends (I met them in one of the local moms groups I admin on Facebook; 3 of the 5 are "friends" on FB). I am socially awkward in person, so we were a bit aloof with each other at first; but over time we started to really connect and before long I found we had delved into engaging and personal conversations. I was pleasantly surprised that such openness and connection could happen over a two-hour time span between near-strangers with nothing more in common than a Facebook account, femal genitalia, and a shared love for our offspring.

At work, I made strides this week in de-hermitizing myself and re-connecting with coworkers with whom I am friendly but do not frequently speak. There were moments of closeness even there that disarm me.

Because all of my friends are oustide of walking distance from my house or job (save the one or two that also exist in my Venn's Diagram of Life Spaces as coworkers), I need to communicate with them electronically or by telephone. I have been texting friends more often, and they have been texting me. I am conscious of the fact that texting can easily replace Facebook for an addiction, however, so I take precaution by powering down and putting away after five minutes have passed (and typically sooner).

5. Going for walks (and keeping my head held high)

I live about two miles from where I work. Although most days we need to transport our children to their care providers (either a local daycare or my mother's house), a few days a month my husband drops the kids off for me and I get to walk/run/jog to work. I love getting to walk to work because it is a time for exercise and reflection and "Me-Time" built into my daily commute. If I'm being honest, however (and you know I do), I probably spend some of the time on my phone posting a status about what i'm doing, snapping pictures and sharing them for my "friends" to see what I'm doing (and be jealous!), and reading and responding to new statuses, notifications, and messages. There are times when I've walked a whole mile without lifting my head because my eyes are glued to the iPhone in my hands.

Wednesday morning was one of these days, except that I found that since I couldn't share pictures on Facebook, I wasn't motivated to stop and stall and stare at my smartphone screen. I was motivated to keep moving, and breathe in the air, and look up and around me. For about a quarter-mile, I even skipped to work. Yes, full-speed, caution-to-the-wind, devil-may-care, schoolyard skipping. Of course, listening to my Vampire Weekend station on Pandora may have had something to do with that.

I had plenty to look at along the way, too. Tuesday night and early Wednesday morning a vicious thunderstorm tore through the Tulsa metro area, ripping out trees and knocking down power lines, leaving thousands without power. Tree debris littered the entire walkway and I was thankful I didn't have Facebook to distract me. I most likely would have tripped!

6. Working

I have been only moderately more focused at my day job. Marginally, in fact; but I do believe I have been somewhat more focused, and it is becoming easier to get back to my work without the pull of Facebook.

Starting yesterday, I also picked up some contract work after-hours for a consulting firm I used to work full-time for in Florida. It will only be about two hours per day, but it will contribute to my goal of becoming debt-free. 

Things I'm Not Doing

1) Not staying away from all social media or the internet. I have been on Twitter, Google+, and Pinterest more than a few times, even beefing up my G+ profile once. Since these other sites don't have the draw that FB does I don't worry too much about it (I have stated clearly, after all, that this is a break from Facebook, not all social media). While I want to broaden my horizons and remain grounded through Facebook abstinence, I recognize that the Internet itself is a fact of life. It isn't a fact that should be creeping in to every last second of my time; but it is truely a part of it, and if I need the internet to work and find out information, a handful of minutes entertaining myself isn't harmful if I can still turn it off when I need to. It's all about balance.

2) I am also not without some twitchy, nervous longings for FB. It isn't as strong or as mindless as it was earlier in the week, but it is still there. I have difficulty just being content in the moment without still absent-mindedly reaching for my phone, occasionally.

3) Finally, I'm not cleaning the house or playing with my pet bunnies, which are two long-forgotten tasks I had intended to prioritize with added time and focus.

 

I'm not checking my notifications and private messages!