Irresponsible

There is something troubling about the use of Facebook so frequently, consistently, hungrily: one tends to do things one would not necessarily choose to do on her own because of a prevailing, manipulative social pressure to do so. For instance, when the definition of marriage was being decided by the supreme court earlier this year and everyone and their mother changed their profile picture to the HRC red, equal sign logo (and a ridiculous few to a cross on a red background in protest of gay marriage), I held reservations in changing my profile picture just because everyone else was doing it, in order to advertise my gay allegiance and let everyone know I'm one of the good girls. I am naturally resistant to popular trends and I have issues with authority, but I saw several shared Status Updates by allegedly gay friends of friends commenting on how awesome it was to see a "Sea of Red" on their news feeds. I thought to myself, I have often struggled with a desire for belonging; giving that comforting sense of belonging to someone else has to be a good motive for such a small act. And so I changed my picture.

 

Then I learned of the marginalization that occurs to trans- and queergender people and people of color under the HRC which promptly ushered in to my mind that familiar sense of shame - which I quickly abdicated by cleaving to a Facebook friend's rationale (that she happens to be gay probably made this justification easier for me to swallow): Essentially that what the HRC does isn't great, but I choose to reclaim the purpose of this equal sign for solidarity and social progress.

This rationale allowed me to continue my use of that image with a fake clear conscience, at least until the decision came out (so to speak) and the majority of my friends and friends of friends got bored with the issue and wanted to return to "more important issues". I was able to change my profile picture back to an obtuse image of myself and all but forget about my lapse in good judgment for a time.

 

Well, today, I read this post and experienced the misfortune of a good memory. I was reminded why I should have stuck to my first instinct, and that "to be an irresponsible ally is not to be an ally at all."

 

So when I see a cascade of HRC logos as far as I can see, and then a ton of self-congratulatory back-patting on the internet, like way to go, internet America! You’ve seen the light! You’re finally making progress! I think about all the queer people of color, and the trans and genderqueer people, who are being told in no uncertain terms: your rights mean less than ours. Your alienation means less than our visibility. We’ll come back for you later. Wait your turn. Which, hmm, sounds like the same song that’s been sung ever since the HRC, and organizations like the HRC, essentially co-opted the possibility of a radical queer social movement and turned it into a mainstream machine for maintaining the status quo.

Think of it this way: much of the Civil Rights legislation, having to do with fair housing, fair employment, fair education, etc., have been subjected to massive roll-back since the 60s. Most of that legislation—legislation that offered hope for actual structural change—has been de-fanged, done away with or abolished. Still around: the aftermath of Loving v. Virginia, which abolished laws against interracial marriage. (In fact, that case is often used as a rallying cry for the HRC and marriage rights advocates, which, don’t even get me fucking started.) Sure, black/white couples can get married; in the meantime, the conditions that most Latino and Black people are living in today have only gotten worse. Exponentially worse, in fact. Maybe that should tell you something about the possibility for social change “marriage equality” actually offers.

 I guess what I should say is that to be an irresponsible ally is not to be an ally at all. Blind, feel good liberal support of “do good” organizations without bothering to ask questions about what such organizations do has perpetuated the spread of white supremacy and exploitative capitalism around the globe (Kony 2012, anyone?). To change your profile photo to the HRC logo and then feel good about contributing to a tidal wave of social change is, as Jack Halberstam recently put it, to confuse social justice with the reaffirmation of social norms.

 

Exploring this is important, because I believe the principle behind "irresponsible = nonexistent" is the heart of the problem behind what I call "Bad Philanthropy" - vaccinating hundreds of thousands of children while leaving them starving and with no access to clean water, or installing clean water wells in villages without training villagers on how to maintain the well. Both of these are examples of irresponsible charity. Another example? Short-term mission trips. When I was in high school and college, I attended several short term mission trips both in-country and abroad. We swooped in, held some entertaining public meetings, did some dramas, visited villages, stayed in posh hotels, and two weeks later we were back in our own comfy beds. Aside from offering salvation and a lasting relationship with Jesus Christ (two things we could not actually deliver on), we did nothing for the people we came to see. Considering all of the trips cost upwards of 2 Gs, it was a horrendously inefficient use of resources.

 

To this day, this is my hesitation for charitable giving of any kind. If I haven't thoroughly researched an organization before I give to it, I would do better to just give a wad of cash to the gentleman (or gentlelady) at the corner of I-44 and Peoria with the cardboard sign. At least he would use 100% of the funds, rather than accounting 70% of it to overhead costs and administrative fees and Board Member bonuses.

 

Anyway, back to the point, Facebook is troublesome because it encourages blind allegiance to harmful social norms and reaffirms the status quo (not to even begin to mention that its infrastructure encourages "slacktivism"). It is the virtual rule of the mob. The mistakes people make online are well-documented and do follow them into real life - contrary to popular opinion.

 

Therefore, Life is too short to spend my time on things that erode my identity, or coax me into abandoning my value systems. I don't have enough time to be irresponsible.